AND THE AWARD GOES TO...

WE’VE read countless annual reviews, griped over XfM’s choice of The Killers’ Mr Brightside as the top song of all time and have been quite proud to be left out of the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list.
Now, in the hope of being the first official music awards of the year, here are Tutankarbon's alternative prizes...

GLASTONBURY AWARD FOR MOST DRENCHED FESTIVAL – The Camden Crawl
Rain or shine we love it, you’re only ever seconds away from a venue to shelter in, but this year really tested our resolve. As we said at the time, rivers of black eyeliner ran down Camden High Street as someone in the heavens chucked buckets at the dedicated music fans swimming their way from gig to gig.

MOST WELL-INTENTIONED BUT ILL-JUDGED SPECIAL EFFECT – Kiss, 02 Academy Islington

They just wanted to give fans a taste of the stadium experience. But poor Kiss’ plans to set off ticker tape from huge cannons backfired as they accidentally suffocated themselves and their fans – cutting short their encore. There’s a reason they’re usually reserved for the arenas guys.

MALCOLM TUCKER AWARD FOR MOST DIPLOMATIC WARDROBE CHOICE – Missy Elliott, Wireless

She probably thought it was a nice gesture – wearing a German tracksuit from sponsors Adidas while their national team battled it out in South Africa. But Missy didn’t count on a bunch of sour-faced England fans, who booed and threw bottles at her, still sore at the country’s loss days earlier.

MOST RIB-CRUSHING GIG – Rage Against the Machine, Finsbury Park

We thought we’d planned it so well – close enough to see, far enough back to avoid being sucked into a mosh-pit stew of fists and feet. I even took my earrings off just in case. But from the very first bass note, the entire crowd contracted, we were lifted off our feet, flung across a molten sea of black t-shirts and banging heads before being dropped into the centre of the pit. Bones could be felt cracking and the mission to get to the edge of park was greater than any Labyrinth-type adventure. Phenomenal gig.

MOST WANTED MUSICIAN (for about five minutes) – Lowkey
He loves a good cause this one. Lowkey visited students at Camden School for Girls protesting at the planned university fees hike. Hours later, he appeared on the front of a number of national newspapers as one of the people police wanted to speak to in connection with protest violence. Of course nothing came of it and he doesn’t seem to be wanted but seeing his face in the rogues gallery it gave his fans a swift shock.

BIGGEST INSULT TO VISITING US ARTISTS – Wireless (Missy Elliott) and The Roundhouse (Talib Kweli)
I know they had their reasons, but pulling the plug on artists mid-song just is not cool. If they are running over, let them get to the end of the song. Leaving Missy and Kweli standing there, mic and music turned off, looking like fools, is not the way to make friends and can only end badly.

VENUE TO SCORE BEST SECRET GIG – Dingwalls – The Strokes

There was hysteria when news broke out that Dingwalls was going to host The Strokes’ comeback. Tickets were harder to find than a music store in Camden and there was no need for contact lenses from Cyberdog for those that missed out – the green eyes could be seen from outer space.

VENUE TO LOSE HUGE SECRET GIG – Dingwalls – Guns ‘n Roses

Dingwalls had to issue an 11th-hour cancellation after learning Axl and co wouldn’t be venturing our way, causing some anger but also a lot of relief from those who wish G n’ R would cut their losses and stop ruining the memory of their best work.

MOST MIDDLE-CLASS MOSH – Jamie Cullum, Kenwood
In among the vin, the pain and the Boursin, the picnic baskets were overturned, cheese knives waved in the air and Jamie Cullum’s encore became the oddest, multi-aged mosh-pit in the shadows of Kenwood House.

MOST GENEROUS HEADLINE PERFORMANCE (TAKE NOTE KANYE) – Jay-Z, Wireless

Unlike Kanye’s headline turn the year before, Jay-Z’s not mean with his time, his words, or his songs and there was not a hint of self-indulgence about his show.

SPECIAL AWARD FOR THE BAND AT THE CENTRE OF THE BIGGEST OFFICE ROW – N-Dubz

Yes Dappy, Fazer and Tulisa, you caused fireworks at my office earlier this year. No need to go into it now, suffice to say – I was on your side.

FAREWELL TO – The Luminaire, The Flowerpot and possibly The 100 Club
HELLO TO – The Wheelbarrow, Nambucca (just reopened).

MOURNING THE FLOWERPOT + ALICE COOPER'S FREAKY HALLOWEEN + TALIB KWELI'S BAD LUCK

MUSIC lovers of Camden Town are upset – favourite Kentish Town hangout The Flowerpot closes on Monday.

Born from the fire which turned Holloway Road muso-magnet Nambucca to cinders, it has become the real Camden music scene – a free gig every night, quality guaranteed. Musicians ran it, worked the bar and kept the dream alive but sadly, they say they’re gutted their lease has been sold. No more secret gigs from Jamie T and Reverend and the Makers. While they look for a new home at least New Year’s party with Foals at HMV Forum is still on.



Here's a recent interview with the guys who ran the place - before we knew it was closing Find The Flowerpot and You Won't Want to Leave.

• The saga of Talib Kweli’s bad luck continues. Last week I told you he raged at the plug being pulled on his Roundhouse set – see proof here. This week he tweeted his frustration that he wants to work with The Noisettes frontwoman Shingai Shoniwa but one of her people doesn’t know him so won’t put him in touch – ouch, ego dent x2. Sure Shingai would jump at the chance – if she gets it.

• If you don’t recognise Big Boi from HMV Forum's listings (November 1), he’s from Outkast – maybe you want a ticket now.

• A whole lotta music’s going on in Kentish Town’s Bull and Gate on Saturday at the Emergenza Festival. See the acts before they’re famous.
• Fans of Halloween horror may enjoy Alice Cooper’s Halloween Night of Fear (Sun and Mon) at the Roundhouse – too much freakiness for me.
 
• Feeling Gloomy’s Halloween Party at 02 Academy Islington (Oct 30) features Depeche Mode tribute act Speak and Spell – can’t get more scary than that.

TALIB KWELI'S STAGE RAGE + LITTLE NOISE SESSIONS + THE RETURN OF MILES KANE

RAPPER Talib Kweli exploded in fury last week when the plug was pulled on his Roundhouse show midway through the final track.
Swearing in rage at the “disrespect”, he vowed never to play the venue again.



In a way he’s right, it’s a huge affront to an artist to be cut off mid-performance – in the case of Missy Elliott at Wireless this year, it was awkward and embarrassing to see the dancers flailing about wondering where their beats had gone.



But it’s not fair to blame the Roundhouse – yes licensing laws are there for a reason and neighbours need to be protected but surely there could be a short grace period post cut-off time?

• Latest names to be added to Mencap Little Noise Sessions at Islington’s Union Chapel are The Kooks, Example, John Bramwell, We Are Scientists and Leah Mason (Nov 18) and Ellie Goulding, Stornoway and Tinashé (Nov 20).

• Placebo fans watch out – former drummer and co-songwriter Steve Hewitt and his new band Love Amongst Ruin play Relentless Garage (Oct 30). New single ‘Home’ is out Oct 25.

• Not content with fronting cheeky scamps The Rascals, being Alex Turner’s bessie mate and one half of The Last Shadow Puppets, one of my favourite musicians Miles Kane is off on another side project. His obsession with psychedelia comes to fruition with the release of debut single Inhaler, an adaptation of 1969 track Mother Nature Father Earth in tribute to 60s LA psychedelic garage group Bonniwell Music Machine. He plays Monto Water Rats (Nov 23) and HMV Forum (Dec 7).

• Also at Relentless Garage, Liam Gallagher’s clothes label Pretty Green launches a club night (Nov 26) – live music from Exit Calm plus DJ sets from Andy Bell (ex-Oasis), Paul Gallagher (yes, his other bro), Eddie Piller and Jamie Skillz. But will Limo be there in his own clothes?

TALIB, TORNADOES AND GUTTER RAINBOWS

“IF SKILLS sold truth be told, I’d probably be, lyrically Talib Kweli,” so sang Jay-Z in his 2003 album track Moment of Clarity.
It’s a line that haunts rapper Talib Kweli, a sign of the high regard he holds with the hip-hop fraternity, who covet this wordsmith’s tongue.

But Talib, widely seen as one of America’s greatest hip-hop lyricists, doesn’t mind. In fact, he says: “I take it as a huge compliment. Don’t be fooled I’ve dumbed down lyrics before. I just haven’t done it at the level Jay-Z has. I’ve songs where I’m having fun, playing around and I like those songs. Sometimes that works but I haven’t made a career out of it like Jay-Z.”

Talib plays Lyrical Alliance at the Roundhouse (Saturday), joining leading Arab hip hop artists –Algeria’s Rabah Ourrad, British Palestinian MC Shadia Mansour, dubbed the first lady of Arabic hip-hop, Palestinian Israeli Tamer Nafar who sings in Arabic, Hebrew and English, Lebanon’s Rayess Bek and VJ Jana Saleh and Jordanian rapper Samm.

It’s a night where the Middle East meets West and Arab hip-hop takes centre stage.

So where does Talib fit in? Not so naturally he admits “I’ve never heard Arab hip hop or been to a country where the language is Arabic”, adding: “I’m definitely excited about doing something different and possibly learning more about hip-hop in another language.”
Although artists like Mansour are particularly political, Talib’s not picking sides.
He said: “(Palestine and Israel) need to work harder at getting along and hitting extremists who too often misrepresent what rational sane people think. I don’t think extremism on any side is warranted. But I also recognise we live in a world where the struggle of the Palestinians is under-represented in my view. I believe in fairness, balance and clarity so anything that brings eyes to that I’m down with it.”
The oppressed have always adapted to hip-hop says Talib, adding: “Hip hop is folk music not in the sense of soft focus, it speaks the language of people at the time when they are still speaking it. A lot of music speaks a language from years back...hip hop often speaks the language of the reality existing right now.”

Album Gutter Rainbows, his childhood name for puddle oil slicks, a phenomenon he recently discovered immortalised as gasoline rainbows in classic novel Catcher in the Rye, is out in November.

He said: “When the rain and dirt mix together, it forms a little rainbow. When I was a little kid not knowing it was from oil and pollution I was just thinking wow that’s nice. You know when you live in a city and there’s a heavy wind and the wind tunnels through the buildings and forms these little rainstorms, these little tiny tornadoes, you can see the leaves sort of dancing? That’s like an inner city tornado. There’s things in the city that are nature that happen because of man made things, buildings, pollution, but somehow nature seems to find a way to give us rainbows, tornadoes.”