WE’VE read countless annual reviews, griped over XfM’s choice of The Killers’ Mr Brightside as the top song of all time and have been quite proud to be left out of the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list.
Now, in the hope of being the first official music awards of the year, here are Tutankarbon's alternative prizes...
GLASTONBURY AWARD FOR MOST DRENCHED FESTIVAL – The Camden Crawl
Rain or shine we love it, you’re only ever seconds away from a venue to shelter in, but this year really tested our resolve. As we said at the time, rivers of black eyeliner ran down Camden High Street as someone in the heavens chucked buckets at the dedicated music fans swimming their way from gig to gig.
MOST WELL-INTENTIONED BUT ILL-JUDGED SPECIAL EFFECT – Kiss, 02 Academy Islington
They just wanted to give fans a taste of the stadium experience. But poor Kiss’ plans to set off ticker tape from huge cannons backfired as they accidentally suffocated themselves and their fans – cutting short their encore. There’s a reason they’re usually reserved for the arenas guys.
MALCOLM TUCKER AWARD FOR MOST DIPLOMATIC WARDROBE CHOICE – Missy Elliott, Wireless
She probably thought it was a nice gesture – wearing a German tracksuit from sponsors Adidas while their national team battled it out in South Africa. But Missy didn’t count on a bunch of sour-faced England fans, who booed and threw bottles at her, still sore at the country’s loss days earlier.
MOST RIB-CRUSHING GIG – Rage Against the Machine, Finsbury Park
We thought we’d planned it so well – close enough to see, far enough back to avoid being sucked into a mosh-pit stew of fists and feet. I even took my earrings off just in case. But from the very first bass note, the entire crowd contracted, we were lifted off our feet, flung across a molten sea of black t-shirts and banging heads before being dropped into the centre of the pit. Bones could be felt cracking and the mission to get to the edge of park was greater than any Labyrinth-type adventure. Phenomenal gig.
MOST WANTED MUSICIAN (for about five minutes) – Lowkey
He loves a good cause this one. Lowkey visited students at Camden School for Girls protesting at the planned university fees hike. Hours later, he appeared on the front of a number of national newspapers as one of the people police wanted to speak to in connection with protest violence. Of course nothing came of it and he doesn’t seem to be wanted but seeing his face in the rogues gallery it gave his fans a swift shock.
BIGGEST INSULT TO VISITING US ARTISTS – Wireless (Missy Elliott) and The Roundhouse (Talib Kweli)
I know they had their reasons, but pulling the plug on artists mid-song just is not cool. If they are running over, let them get to the end of the song. Leaving Missy and Kweli standing there, mic and music turned off, looking like fools, is not the way to make friends and can only end badly.
VENUE TO SCORE BEST SECRET GIG – Dingwalls – The Strokes
There was hysteria when news broke out that Dingwalls was going to host The Strokes’ comeback. Tickets were harder to find than a music store in Camden and there was no need for contact lenses from Cyberdog for those that missed out – the green eyes could be seen from outer space.
VENUE TO LOSE HUGE SECRET GIG – Dingwalls – Guns ‘n Roses
Dingwalls had to issue an 11th-hour cancellation after learning Axl and co wouldn’t be venturing our way, causing some anger but also a lot of relief from those who wish G n’ R would cut their losses and stop ruining the memory of their best work.
MOST MIDDLE-CLASS MOSH – Jamie Cullum, Kenwood
In among the vin, the pain and the Boursin, the picnic baskets were overturned, cheese knives waved in the air and Jamie Cullum’s encore became the oddest, multi-aged mosh-pit in the shadows of Kenwood House.
MOST GENEROUS HEADLINE PERFORMANCE (TAKE NOTE KANYE) – Jay-Z, Wireless
Unlike Kanye’s headline turn the year before, Jay-Z’s not mean with his time, his words, or his songs and there was not a hint of self-indulgence about his show.
SPECIAL AWARD FOR THE BAND AT THE CENTRE OF THE BIGGEST OFFICE ROW – N-Dubz
Yes Dappy, Fazer and Tulisa, you caused fireworks at my office earlier this year. No need to go into it now, suffice to say – I was on your side.
FAREWELL TO – The Luminaire, The Flowerpot and possibly The 100 Club
HELLO TO – The Wheelbarrow, Nambucca (just reopened).
Showing posts with label Missy Elliott. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Missy Elliott. Show all posts
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Monday, 25 October 2010
TALIB KWELI'S STAGE RAGE + LITTLE NOISE SESSIONS + THE RETURN OF MILES KANE
RAPPER Talib Kweli exploded in fury last week when the plug was pulled on his Roundhouse show midway through the final track.
Swearing in rage at the “disrespect”, he vowed never to play the venue again.
In a way he’s right, it’s a huge affront to an artist to be cut off mid-performance – in the case of Missy Elliott at Wireless this year, it was awkward and embarrassing to see the dancers flailing about wondering where their beats had gone.
But it’s not fair to blame the Roundhouse – yes licensing laws are there for a reason and neighbours need to be protected but surely there could be a short grace period post cut-off time?
• Latest names to be added to Mencap Little Noise Sessions at Islington’s Union Chapel are The Kooks, Example, John Bramwell, We Are Scientists and Leah Mason (Nov 18) and Ellie Goulding, Stornoway and Tinashé (Nov 20).
• Placebo fans watch out – former drummer and co-songwriter Steve Hewitt and his new band Love Amongst Ruin play Relentless Garage (Oct 30). New single ‘Home’ is out Oct 25.
• Not content with fronting cheeky scamps The Rascals, being Alex Turner’s bessie mate and one half of The Last Shadow Puppets, one of my favourite musicians Miles Kane is off on another side project. His obsession with psychedelia comes to fruition with the release of debut single Inhaler, an adaptation of 1969 track Mother Nature Father Earth in tribute to 60s LA psychedelic garage group Bonniwell Music Machine. He plays Monto Water Rats (Nov 23) and HMV Forum (Dec 7).
• Also at Relentless Garage, Liam Gallagher’s clothes label Pretty Green launches a club night (Nov 26) – live music from Exit Calm plus DJ sets from Andy Bell (ex-Oasis), Paul Gallagher (yes, his other bro), Eddie Piller and Jamie Skillz. But will Limo be there in his own clothes?
Swearing in rage at the “disrespect”, he vowed never to play the venue again.
In a way he’s right, it’s a huge affront to an artist to be cut off mid-performance – in the case of Missy Elliott at Wireless this year, it was awkward and embarrassing to see the dancers flailing about wondering where their beats had gone.
But it’s not fair to blame the Roundhouse – yes licensing laws are there for a reason and neighbours need to be protected but surely there could be a short grace period post cut-off time?
• Latest names to be added to Mencap Little Noise Sessions at Islington’s Union Chapel are The Kooks, Example, John Bramwell, We Are Scientists and Leah Mason (Nov 18) and Ellie Goulding, Stornoway and Tinashé (Nov 20).
• Placebo fans watch out – former drummer and co-songwriter Steve Hewitt and his new band Love Amongst Ruin play Relentless Garage (Oct 30). New single ‘Home’ is out Oct 25.
• Not content with fronting cheeky scamps The Rascals, being Alex Turner’s bessie mate and one half of The Last Shadow Puppets, one of my favourite musicians Miles Kane is off on another side project. His obsession with psychedelia comes to fruition with the release of debut single Inhaler, an adaptation of 1969 track Mother Nature Father Earth in tribute to 60s LA psychedelic garage group Bonniwell Music Machine. He plays Monto Water Rats (Nov 23) and HMV Forum (Dec 7).
• Also at Relentless Garage, Liam Gallagher’s clothes label Pretty Green launches a club night (Nov 26) – live music from Exit Calm plus DJ sets from Andy Bell (ex-Oasis), Paul Gallagher (yes, his other bro), Eddie Piller and Jamie Skillz. But will Limo be there in his own clothes?
Saturday, 10 July 2010
PINK'S ACROBATICS, MISSY ELLIOTT'S FAILS, SNOOP DOGG'S SUNNY DISPOSITION AND JAY-Z'S CAMERON-LIKE TENDENCIES
PINK dropped from the sky, Missy Elliott's German tracksuit offended, Snoop Dogg wore girly hair bobbles and Jay-Z played the popular card at an eventful Wireless festival last weekend.
By Sunday night, Wireless stragglers looked more like extras from Shipwrecked than holders of the coolest hip-hop tickets in town as arid weather conditions turned Hyde Park into one giant dustbowl and filthy feet, mud-caked fingernails and dirt-streaked faces became the official festival uniform.
Not even the luxury loos, Ugg boots store, makeovers, Superdrug counter, Elemis massages and Bed Head hairdressers could combat the dust.
Pink's headline performance was a spectacle in itself, so carefully stage managed that it even ended with a roll of credits.
And they deserved the praise, Pink dropped onto a walkway from a gift-wrapped box suspended high on a crane, running through hits, many lesser-known tracks and some covers.
She mashed up Lou Reid's Walk on the Wild Side with Green Day's Basket Case, later launching the loudest sing-along of the weekend to 4 Non Blondes' What's Up – a perfect fit for her voice.Pink's songs have rarely been captivating but her performance skills and powerhouse vocals are something to behold.Her set was a fully-functioning carnival, she made full use of the slides, her drummer stood inside a waltzer and Pink's acrobatics matched those of a circus professional.From Cirque du Soleil roof-dangling on drapes, to soaring over the crowd suspended on four-way wires, to literally running over the heads of the audience in a giant inflatable Zorb ball, it was a non-stop feast for the eyes.Earlier Plan B drew hundreds from Gossip's main stage set as crowds caked the outside of the Pepsi Max tent to try to catch a glimpse.Beth Ditto made her usual threat to strip but thankfully failed to deliver.Not even Ditto's lungs could compete with the crowds singing along to Plan B 150m away and her cover of Tina Turner's What's Love Got To Do With It was drowned out.The Ting Tings banged out a bit of a racket but the most euphoric moment of the day was lying in the grass, staring at the clear blue sky listening to The Temper Trap.Day two's headliners LCD Soundsystem seriously disappointed – an odd choice for top billing when the likes of Missy Elliott and Snoop Dogg were in town.
To be fair, Missy's set consisted of a number of big fails. 1 – coming on 20 minutes late, 2 – playing a medley of best-known tracks so fast you almost missed them, 3 – part-miming, badly, 4 – bringing on latest protege after only 10 minutes, who also mimed, 5 – making an ill-judged return to the stage in a Germany tracksuit – her
prerogative I say – but she drew boos from a huge group of miserable bad sports, 6 – overrunning and having her set cut mid-flow.
Still, Get Your Freak on was a popular three minutes, her rapping was fierce and she threw herself into rallying the crowd for the brief time she was on.
A quick dash to Darwin Deez confirmed why he's the Napoleon Dynamite of the moment and a delight to watch – but the pull of legend Snoop Dogg was too strong.
The sunshine loved Snoop, who came on with a knuckle duster-style mic and charted his hip-hop history through a memorable, laid back set.
Still hard to take Gangsta rap seriously when it comes from a man with clear plastic bobbles on his plaits.
Day three was uncomfortable as thousands crammed into the park, may looking for trouble. Huge groups of boys cleared the ground of bottles by flinging them into the crowd, prompting Lily Allen to point out the number of girls she'd seen crying in front of her after being hit.
Earlier, Professor Green on the second stage was a huge, popular draw, Slash played a couple of his own solos which flew above the head of most of the crowd, but woke everyone up with Sweet Child O' Mine and a vastly diminished D12 delighted the many who rushed to see them on the third stage – though twice as many were left out in the cold.
Lily Allen brought on Professor Green for a drum 'n bass remix of Smile before the two launched into their new single Just Be Good To Green, which ended up as a huge rave.
Jay-Z the ever professional, played the popular tracks, some lesser-known older ones and never let the crowd forget he was thinking of every single one of them.
Much like the David Cameron in the leaders debates, he took note of his audience and singled out the ones who most knew his songs, or those who most caught his eye.
When he realised he had 24 minutes left he declared he was not ready to go and promised to run through as many track people asked for as possible, flicking from a bar of Bonnie and Clyde to a chorus of another, he skipped around, prepared to please his devoted followers.
He ended on Encore – the smash hit mash-up with Linkin Park's Numb – a wise and explosive choice that confirmed Jay-Z's generous showmanship.
By Sunday night, Wireless stragglers looked more like extras from Shipwrecked than holders of the coolest hip-hop tickets in town as arid weather conditions turned Hyde Park into one giant dustbowl and filthy feet, mud-caked fingernails and dirt-streaked faces became the official festival uniform.
Not even the luxury loos, Ugg boots store, makeovers, Superdrug counter, Elemis massages and Bed Head hairdressers could combat the dust.
Pink's headline performance was a spectacle in itself, so carefully stage managed that it even ended with a roll of credits.
And they deserved the praise, Pink dropped onto a walkway from a gift-wrapped box suspended high on a crane, running through hits, many lesser-known tracks and some covers.
She mashed up Lou Reid's Walk on the Wild Side with Green Day's Basket Case, later launching the loudest sing-along of the weekend to 4 Non Blondes' What's Up – a perfect fit for her voice.Pink's songs have rarely been captivating but her performance skills and powerhouse vocals are something to behold.Her set was a fully-functioning carnival, she made full use of the slides, her drummer stood inside a waltzer and Pink's acrobatics matched those of a circus professional.From Cirque du Soleil roof-dangling on drapes, to soaring over the crowd suspended on four-way wires, to literally running over the heads of the audience in a giant inflatable Zorb ball, it was a non-stop feast for the eyes.Earlier Plan B drew hundreds from Gossip's main stage set as crowds caked the outside of the Pepsi Max tent to try to catch a glimpse.Beth Ditto made her usual threat to strip but thankfully failed to deliver.Not even Ditto's lungs could compete with the crowds singing along to Plan B 150m away and her cover of Tina Turner's What's Love Got To Do With It was drowned out.The Ting Tings banged out a bit of a racket but the most euphoric moment of the day was lying in the grass, staring at the clear blue sky listening to The Temper Trap.Day two's headliners LCD Soundsystem seriously disappointed – an odd choice for top billing when the likes of Missy Elliott and Snoop Dogg were in town.
To be fair, Missy's set consisted of a number of big fails. 1 – coming on 20 minutes late, 2 – playing a medley of best-known tracks so fast you almost missed them, 3 – part-miming, badly, 4 – bringing on latest protege after only 10 minutes, who also mimed, 5 – making an ill-judged return to the stage in a Germany tracksuit – her
prerogative I say – but she drew boos from a huge group of miserable bad sports, 6 – overrunning and having her set cut mid-flow.
Still, Get Your Freak on was a popular three minutes, her rapping was fierce and she threw herself into rallying the crowd for the brief time she was on.
A quick dash to Darwin Deez confirmed why he's the Napoleon Dynamite of the moment and a delight to watch – but the pull of legend Snoop Dogg was too strong.
The sunshine loved Snoop, who came on with a knuckle duster-style mic and charted his hip-hop history through a memorable, laid back set.
Still hard to take Gangsta rap seriously when it comes from a man with clear plastic bobbles on his plaits.
Day three was uncomfortable as thousands crammed into the park, may looking for trouble. Huge groups of boys cleared the ground of bottles by flinging them into the crowd, prompting Lily Allen to point out the number of girls she'd seen crying in front of her after being hit.
Earlier, Professor Green on the second stage was a huge, popular draw, Slash played a couple of his own solos which flew above the head of most of the crowd, but woke everyone up with Sweet Child O' Mine and a vastly diminished D12 delighted the many who rushed to see them on the third stage – though twice as many were left out in the cold.
Lily Allen brought on Professor Green for a drum 'n bass remix of Smile before the two launched into their new single Just Be Good To Green, which ended up as a huge rave.
Jay-Z the ever professional, played the popular tracks, some lesser-known older ones and never let the crowd forget he was thinking of every single one of them.
Much like the David Cameron in the leaders debates, he took note of his audience and singled out the ones who most knew his songs, or those who most caught his eye.
When he realised he had 24 minutes left he declared he was not ready to go and promised to run through as many track people asked for as possible, flicking from a bar of Bonnie and Clyde to a chorus of another, he skipped around, prepared to please his devoted followers.
He ended on Encore – the smash hit mash-up with Linkin Park's Numb – a wise and explosive choice that confirmed Jay-Z's generous showmanship.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
WAS MISSY ELLIOTT BOOED OFFSTAGE BECAUSE OF HER GERMAN TRACKSUIT?
SERIOUSLY poor form from some England football supporters today who threw bottles and booed Missy Elliott at Hyde Park's Wireless Festival.
Her set came to an abrupt end, with the big screens suddenly switching off and Missy and her dancers left looking confused onstage.
No explanation was given but it looked like the plug was pulled after she and her dancers came on in white adidas tracksuits bearing the German flag, with Deutschland written on the back.
Perhaps an ill-judged choice of garb given England's crushing at the German team's feet last week but unlikely she meant any malice.
Either the set ended because of the negative reaction from some of the crowd who took exception to her outfit or the plug was pulled mid-track because she overran, but if this was the case surely they'd be professional enough to let her finish the song.
Her costume change came just minutes after Germany beat Argentina so did she have a spare Argentina outfit backstage just in case?
And so what if she just wanted to support Germany for the fun of it? The USA's no longer in and neither is England guys so get over it.
We all need to find new teams to support!
Incidentally Missy came onstage 20 minutes late - was she watching the match or was it a coincidence?
She put on a good show for the short time she was actually onstage, playing medleys of her biggest hits, rapping live but it looked like she was miming during the singing parts.
She then strangely brought on a girl called Shoraya, who she promised was amazing but who mimed her way - badly - through some anonymous track before Missy returned in aforementioned tracky.
And we all know how that ended. Strange scenes all the same.
Snoop Dogg followed with a fantastic set and should have been the headliner.
More on him later.
Her set came to an abrupt end, with the big screens suddenly switching off and Missy and her dancers left looking confused onstage.
No explanation was given but it looked like the plug was pulled after she and her dancers came on in white adidas tracksuits bearing the German flag, with Deutschland written on the back.
Perhaps an ill-judged choice of garb given England's crushing at the German team's feet last week but unlikely she meant any malice.
Either the set ended because of the negative reaction from some of the crowd who took exception to her outfit or the plug was pulled mid-track because she overran, but if this was the case surely they'd be professional enough to let her finish the song.
Her costume change came just minutes after Germany beat Argentina so did she have a spare Argentina outfit backstage just in case?
And so what if she just wanted to support Germany for the fun of it? The USA's no longer in and neither is England guys so get over it.
We all need to find new teams to support!
Incidentally Missy came onstage 20 minutes late - was she watching the match or was it a coincidence?
She put on a good show for the short time she was actually onstage, playing medleys of her biggest hits, rapping live but it looked like she was miming during the singing parts.
She then strangely brought on a girl called Shoraya, who she promised was amazing but who mimed her way - badly - through some anonymous track before Missy returned in aforementioned tracky.
And we all know how that ended. Strange scenes all the same.
Snoop Dogg followed with a fantastic set and should have been the headliner.
More on him later.
Sunday, 27 June 2010
WIRELESS SET TO ELECTRIFY?
THERE were some great scenes of rebellion at last year's Wireless Festival as we joined the scramble to break into the tent to catch The Streets during one of the most memorable and sweltering performances of the weekend.
And there's sure to be as many equally unforgettable moments this year with a line-up of huge draws including Jay-Z, Pink, LCD Soundsystem, Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliott and 2ManyDjs.
And there's sure to be as many equally unforgettable moments this year with a line-up of huge draws including Jay-Z, Pink, LCD Soundsystem, Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliott and 2ManyDjs.
Wireless, sponsored by Barclaycard (July 2 - 4), is one of the easiest festivals around, a medley of urban, indie, electro and hip-hop acts all in Hyde Park but with the power to pull huge names more usually associated with vast soulless stadiums.
Ideal for non-campers – and lazier music-lovers – there's not even a worry about transport or accommodation, as it all usually ends before the last tube leaves and well before the last clubs shut their doors.
While last year Kanye West left us cold with his immense detachment, Basement Jaxx's star shone bright with a euphoric carnival performance.
We're not expecting a repeat of West's vacant show this year, as Jay-Z headlines the Sunday night, a US rap giant who knows how to play the crowd.
We're not expecting a repeat of West's vacant show this year, as Jay-Z headlines the Sunday night, a US rap giant who knows how to play the crowd.
Another crowd pleaser with a mammoth voice is Pink, or is that P!ink?
Her gravity-defying feats at the Grammy awards were the talk of the show, but can she top it? She headlines on the Friday night – expect a spectacle.
LCD Soundsystem and 2ManyDjs co-headline on Saturday but I'll be more interested in Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliott, Darwin Deez and DJ Shadow.
Her gravity-defying feats at the Grammy awards were the talk of the show, but can she top it? She headlines on the Friday night – expect a spectacle.
LCD Soundsystem and 2ManyDjs co-headline on Saturday but I'll be more interested in Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliott, Darwin Deez and DJ Shadow.
There's so much to see over the three days, so here are my picks – Snoop Dogg (he made it into the country, the least we can do is go see him), Jay-Z (always room for an epic megastar), The Temper Trap (soaring tunes), Hockey (good indie attitude), Alphabeat (they'll smile even if it rains), DJ Shadow (to revive some hazy student memories), UNKLE (ever innovative), Missy Elliott (fierce), The Big Pink (too cool), Darwin Deez (edgy, quirky pop from the frizzy-haired, eyelinered one), The Hundred in the Hands (moody duo), Friendly Fires (lively electro), Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip (unfailingly fantastic, a must, must, MUST) and Devlin (Dagenham MC with a good brand of dark hip-hop).
There's sure to be a book running on what Beth Ditto plans to wear when Gossip take to the stage so start guessing now.
There's sure to be a book running on what Beth Ditto plans to wear when Gossip take to the stage so start guessing now.
Others attracting attention are celeb offspring Lily Allen and I Blame Coco, the slightly irritating The Ting Tings, rapper-turned-lounge-singer Plan B, new young darling Daisy Dares You, New Young Pony Club, Example, Chase & Status, Chipmunk, Tinie Tempah, Mr Hudson, D12 and Roll Deep.
As well as a whole list of other acts, there's a full programme of non-musical entertainment – fashion shows, talent scouts, a pampering parlour and all sorts of games.
As well as a whole list of other acts, there's a full programme of non-musical entertainment – fashion shows, talent scouts, a pampering parlour and all sorts of games.
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