AND THE AWARD GOES TO...

WE’VE read countless annual reviews, griped over XfM’s choice of The Killers’ Mr Brightside as the top song of all time and have been quite proud to be left out of the Queen’s New Year’s Honours list.
Now, in the hope of being the first official music awards of the year, here are Tutankarbon's alternative prizes...

GLASTONBURY AWARD FOR MOST DRENCHED FESTIVAL – The Camden Crawl
Rain or shine we love it, you’re only ever seconds away from a venue to shelter in, but this year really tested our resolve. As we said at the time, rivers of black eyeliner ran down Camden High Street as someone in the heavens chucked buckets at the dedicated music fans swimming their way from gig to gig.

MOST WELL-INTENTIONED BUT ILL-JUDGED SPECIAL EFFECT – Kiss, 02 Academy Islington

They just wanted to give fans a taste of the stadium experience. But poor Kiss’ plans to set off ticker tape from huge cannons backfired as they accidentally suffocated themselves and their fans – cutting short their encore. There’s a reason they’re usually reserved for the arenas guys.

MALCOLM TUCKER AWARD FOR MOST DIPLOMATIC WARDROBE CHOICE – Missy Elliott, Wireless

She probably thought it was a nice gesture – wearing a German tracksuit from sponsors Adidas while their national team battled it out in South Africa. But Missy didn’t count on a bunch of sour-faced England fans, who booed and threw bottles at her, still sore at the country’s loss days earlier.

MOST RIB-CRUSHING GIG – Rage Against the Machine, Finsbury Park

We thought we’d planned it so well – close enough to see, far enough back to avoid being sucked into a mosh-pit stew of fists and feet. I even took my earrings off just in case. But from the very first bass note, the entire crowd contracted, we were lifted off our feet, flung across a molten sea of black t-shirts and banging heads before being dropped into the centre of the pit. Bones could be felt cracking and the mission to get to the edge of park was greater than any Labyrinth-type adventure. Phenomenal gig.

MOST WANTED MUSICIAN (for about five minutes) – Lowkey
He loves a good cause this one. Lowkey visited students at Camden School for Girls protesting at the planned university fees hike. Hours later, he appeared on the front of a number of national newspapers as one of the people police wanted to speak to in connection with protest violence. Of course nothing came of it and he doesn’t seem to be wanted but seeing his face in the rogues gallery it gave his fans a swift shock.

BIGGEST INSULT TO VISITING US ARTISTS – Wireless (Missy Elliott) and The Roundhouse (Talib Kweli)
I know they had their reasons, but pulling the plug on artists mid-song just is not cool. If they are running over, let them get to the end of the song. Leaving Missy and Kweli standing there, mic and music turned off, looking like fools, is not the way to make friends and can only end badly.

VENUE TO SCORE BEST SECRET GIG – Dingwalls – The Strokes

There was hysteria when news broke out that Dingwalls was going to host The Strokes’ comeback. Tickets were harder to find than a music store in Camden and there was no need for contact lenses from Cyberdog for those that missed out – the green eyes could be seen from outer space.

VENUE TO LOSE HUGE SECRET GIG – Dingwalls – Guns ‘n Roses

Dingwalls had to issue an 11th-hour cancellation after learning Axl and co wouldn’t be venturing our way, causing some anger but also a lot of relief from those who wish G n’ R would cut their losses and stop ruining the memory of their best work.

MOST MIDDLE-CLASS MOSH – Jamie Cullum, Kenwood
In among the vin, the pain and the Boursin, the picnic baskets were overturned, cheese knives waved in the air and Jamie Cullum’s encore became the oddest, multi-aged mosh-pit in the shadows of Kenwood House.

MOST GENEROUS HEADLINE PERFORMANCE (TAKE NOTE KANYE) – Jay-Z, Wireless

Unlike Kanye’s headline turn the year before, Jay-Z’s not mean with his time, his words, or his songs and there was not a hint of self-indulgence about his show.

SPECIAL AWARD FOR THE BAND AT THE CENTRE OF THE BIGGEST OFFICE ROW – N-Dubz

Yes Dappy, Fazer and Tulisa, you caused fireworks at my office earlier this year. No need to go into it now, suffice to say – I was on your side.

FAREWELL TO – The Luminaire, The Flowerpot and possibly The 100 Club
HELLO TO – The Wheelbarrow, Nambucca (just reopened).

LOYAL CAMDEN GIRL AMY WINEHOUSE PULLS A MEAN PINT AND MORE GOSSIP

DEPRESSING news about plans to axe BBC 6 Music. Huey Morgan, from the Fun Lovin’ Criminals – interviewed above – recently won an award for his 6Music show.

Why, when the Beeb are permanently under scrutiny for their unwise spending of public money, do they choose to delete a gem like this? I guess they need the cash to secure endless Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps repeats – that’s what teenagers really like, right?

• l know him as the man who created Lil Chris – but to most people Gene Simmons is the make-up wearing frontman of glam-rock band KISS. He and his clan put on an incredible show but, the reason that made the gig special - that it was in such a small venue - almost backfired on them in the end. Determined to put on a worthy show, they closed the show with a sustained blast of ticker-tape. I thought we in the balcony were the only ones suffering shortness of breath from the blast of air coming from the cannons, but it appears the band also suffered and were unable to continue past the one encore.
Still it was a night to remember - even if I walked off with a headache.

• Amy Winehouse was back in her old haunts this week. She showed her allegiance to Camden’s iconic Dublin Castle by pulling pints for punters. “I’m a Camden girl,” she told me. “I’d do anything for Camden.”


(Amy Winehouse at Camden Monarch - August 2008)

• They’re the band everyone’s talking about. HURTS play Koko on May 10 and we’re gonna be there – so should you.

• Ever-innovative, ex-UK beatbox champ Beardyman’s touring again and this time he’s stopping off at 02 Academy Islington (May 2). But he’s leaving his fate in the hands of his fans. Send suggestions to him, along with your city, on Twitter with hashtag #beardytour and he’ll try to include them in his set.

• Quadrophenia or is it EastEnders’ Phil Daniels and Ian Dury/Gollum actor Andy Serkis have joined the bill for the Barbican’s celebration of the city Songs in the Key of London (March 9). Together with an eclectic collection of singers – Chris Difford, Blaine Harrison, Jools Holland, James Hunter, Mike Lindsay & Becky Jacobs (of Tunng), Natty, Rico Rodriguez, Chas Smash, Suggs, Glenn Tilbrook and Kathryn Williams – they celebrate songs about the capital.

BBC PLOT OR JUST THE ECONOMY AGAIN?

A WISE, cynical hack at the KISS gig in Islington on Tuesday was debating the BBC's motives for axing 6 Music and the Asia Network.
"It's not just about cuts," he told me.
"Hardly anyone's talking about the Asia Network. But if enough of a fuss is made about 6 Music and they agree to save it, then they can let the Asia Network disappear quietly."
Was this the plan all along? A sleight of hand trick on the part of the BBC?
Threatening to lose a popular station so when it's later "saved", no-one complains when a lesser known channel is culled in compromise - sounds shrewd.
If it's true, it's working.
Most of the attention and campaigning is focused on 6 Music, leaving the Asian Network to fall under the radar slightly.
Maybe this journo's on to something.

LIGHTS, TICKER TAPE, KISS, NOEL FIELDING...AND ALL SAINTS???

THEY were the hottest tickets in town on Tuesday night - going for hundreds of pounds on eBay.
But somehow, thanks to some very kind people at 02 Academy Islington, I ended up with a pair of tickets to see KISS.
People had queued outside the venue for the whole day just for a chance to snap up a ticket at the door after the original allocation sold out in record time.
Die hard fans knew just how precious these tickets were - it's not often you get to see a stadium band in such a small venue.
Hairy men stood side-by-side with glammed-up rock chicks just to catch a glimpse of Gene Simmons et al.
And the band relished every second.
Their compact setting just emphasised their gargantuan status.
Their make-up served the dual purpose of cementing their enigmatic superhero personas while at the same time acting as a wonder anti-ageing cream - not a wrinkle in sight.
Simmons obliged with all his tongue-waving and KISS, against a backdrop of Hollywood lights, dazzled.
Their set was tight, the sound clear and their nu-metal stacked gothic boots elevated them to stellar proportions.



They ended with a blinding ticker-tape onslaught, which nearly suffocated former All Saints singers Nicole and Natalie Appleton who, until then, had been right at the front, hanging over the balcony, looking like they knew every word. (see here)
Who knew they'd be such KISS fans?
Less of a surprise was comedian Noel Fielding, who bears some resemblance to all the band members put together - although he seemed oddly lacking in make-up this time.
He and Mighty Boosh co-star Julian Barratt spent only a short time in the VIP bar before preferring to join the hairy men in the pit below.



Setlist:

Modern Day Delilah
Cold Gin
Let Me Go Rock And Roll
Say Yeah
Calling Dr. Love
Got To Choose
I Love It Loud
100,000 Years
Love Gun
Black Diamond
Rock And Roll All Nite
Detroit Rock City

WEEKLY GOSSIP - CAMDEN CRAWL PICKS, KISS, ROUGH SCIENCE, ROBOT DISASTER AND TWEET OF THE WEEK

ONLY two months to Camden’s answer to the marathon – a prolonged drunken stumble between 40 venues over two days, hell, it’s tougher than the pansy marathon, it’s the Camden Crawl. Get training.
The initial line-up was released this week but the big names are yet to come.

Here’s my pick so far – Sunshine Underground, The Drums, The Delays, Chew Lips, The Hundred in the Hands, Holly Miranda, Eliza Doolittle, Billy Childish, Best Coast, Speech Debelle (because she’s unpredictable) and Jamie Woon. Some from my uni days in there – Cornershop, Babybird and Teenage Fanclub. See the full line-up at www.camden newjournal.com and follow me on twitter @roisingadelrab

• Face paints ready, grandad rockers KISS play the humble 02 Academy Islington on March 2 – make-up guide’s on Wikipedia if you need help. The tickets sold out in seconds and now they're going for hundreds of pounds on eBay.

• Kentish Town’s Rough Science blend music from around the world to give you a wicked and unexpected night, full of Latin rhythms, hip-hop bass and beats with some London lyrical sensibility. (Bull and Gate, March 6).

• Too excited – former Record of the Week boys Robot Disaster play Camden Barfly on Saturday.

• Lightning Strikes the Empire State are ready to launch their first single. See them at the Water Rats on March 2.

• Tweet of the Week goes to @davejoyner in response to news Peckham rapper Giggs has had to cancel his tour – including a date at 02 Academy Islington on March 4 – due to security fears: “Nice of the Feds to help shut down that Giggs tour in case it got all stabby and/or shooty and ting.”